


Glue holdin' us together

by Neonbat



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: 1960s, And holes, Bottom Bucky Barnes, M/M, Not Peggy or Howard flattering, PTSD mentions, Protective Venom Symbiote (Marvel), Top Steve Rogers, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Steve Rogers, Usual Hydra grossness, Venom fills all the rolls, Venom gets very creative in the bedroom, Venom is a good wingman, Venom is exhausted with his adopted super soldiers, We feel strongly about their accents in these parts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:01:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26677867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neonbat/pseuds/Neonbat
Summary: Bucky had given up. Twenty years under Hydra's thumb will do that to a man. One day a strange blob invades his body, and that took was met with dull acceptance. That was until it started talking to him while he was stuck in cryo. Little by little, his mind was repaired, and they planned their escape.Together, they could do damn near anything. Including finding out what had happened to Steve Rogers.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Venom Symbiote
Comments: 14
Kudos: 83





	Glue holdin' us together

**Author's Note:**

> Happy(late haha) Birthday to Wolf! This fic was requested by the lovely [ **Trish_Argh** ](https://twitter.com/Trish_Argh?s=09) and 
> 
> [ **Furupops** ](https://twitter.com/Furupops?s=09)
> 
> For
> 
> [ **Little Wolf** ](https://twitter.com/little_wolf82?s=09)
> 
> I can't tell you how much fun I had writing this thing. It should be pretty obvious down below *snickers*.

Maintenance.

It was one word that could still strike fear in the core of him. His Handler said, in time, that even those feelings would be stripped away. The Asset didn’t see how that was possible when all he felt was ice.

He bit down hard on the metal bit they gave him, not for his sake, but for their own ears to muffle his screams. Hot agony consumed his shoulder as the scientist, one part doctor, one part mechanic, all parts sadist, rooted around in the innards of his arm. It had been damaged in his latest mission, a faulty grenade blowing right in his hand. It was the fault of his preparations team, but of course, he would be the one to be punished for it. He should have known better.

His Handler’s boots sounded a few steps away as the ugly, pig-nosed man bent to inspect his naked body strapped to the gurney.”The port leaked the last time it was fed, check them all.” He sniffed dismissively.

Port changing wasn’t as grueling as the arm. One for nutrients, one for waste. He didn’t remember a time when he didn’t have them, only that he must return to his Handler’s mercy within the window of his mission or else risk harm to the body.

The scientist’s soldering tool touched something deep and the rest of the conversation died in a burst of white.

Hearing came back to him first. The dull blaring of a distant alarm. The acrid meat stench of his own flesh and blood melded with oil and hot metal next. He blinked stars from his eyes, resisting the urge to groan or shift, both actions would only be met with more of the same.

He expected to see the smirking face of the doctor above him, but there was nothing. Straining through the alarm he listened for heartbeats, and that too proved fruitless. He was utterly alone in the examination room, still strapped tight with an IV feeding sedatives into his veins.

Minutes stretched. The Asset was never left alone unless in stasis. He wasn’t to be trusted. 

There, in the monotonous tone was something else. Slick squelching on metal. His brows furrowed, rolling his head towards the air vents. Brackish ooze bled from the metal slats, pouring out until it rolled with a sickening splat onto the desk below.

It shuddered, a massive black slug that writhed and pulsed. 

Down the hall, guards snapped at one another and the only word the Asset clearly identified was ‘escaped’.

At that same moment, the blob stretched taller, another violent shiver dancing through the oil slick form. The footsteps drew closer, the guards clipped conversation louder. The blob sank back down, and in one great hop, launched itself into the air. Right at the Asset’s exposed shoulder socket. 

The door opened right as the thing disappeared into his body, and still, he didn’t squirm. The dull sensation of something _wrong_ hit him, but nothing more than anything else that had been done to him. 

The Doctor stepped back into view, visibly flustered. He slapped a rough hand against the Asset’s cheek, and smiled.”Well, where were we?” He sneered, plunking himself down to pick up his tools once more.

Whatever dull concern he had about the strange creature died in another burst of fire.

* * *

_Bucky_

The Asset jolted, or he tried to. There was a disconnect between his will and body, similar to the experiments where they had severed his spinal cord and waited to see if it would heal. And yet, this was deeper still. 

He tried to open his eyes, but darkness remained.

_Bucky_

Momentary alarm filled him. That was not his inner voice, the one that had grown quieter and quieter over the years. 

_I don’t like this place. Do they often put you here?_

Here?

His senses deepened and cold so intense it screamed through his every atom momentarily drowned out all else. As abruptly as it came it faded, a dull tingle at the corner of his mind.  
  


He was in cryo then.

 _Cryo?_ There was the sensation of the thing in his head worming its way deeper into his skull, pervasive hands tree roots growing around rubble.

 _They freeze you until they need you._ The voice concluded, a bristling annoyance layered over it.

What was this thing speaking into his head? Another Hydra experiment? Perhaps they had — 

**_I am not Hydra_ **. The voice boomed, swelling into his awareness like an ominous storm cloud. Perhaps a day past he would have cowed from such a thing, but it had nothing on the knowledge he was locked in a metal tube for, what? Months? Years? Decades? He’d never been aware of it before now. 

_You have damage. Your brain looks like swiss-cheese._ The comment wasn’t surprising, though it was curious. He was functional. Those were the desired parameters.

_Bucky_

Why did the voice call him that? He was the Asset. A weapon. A tool. To some, the Winter Soldier, but the agents around him never addressed him as such. It was almost too much like a name.

 _You have a name. Not a_ **_good_ ** _name. It is Bucky._ There was a curled note in the voice’s tone as if it found the name unsavory and humorous at once. He didn’t know why.

 _You saw me, before, in the room._ A memory pushed to the forefront, which was strange. He normally didn’t remember much more than muscle memory after being awoken from the tube. It took hours for things to return, and even then, it was a moth-eaten tapestry.

The black blob falling onto the desk. It jumping right into his exposed body.

The memory brought more questions than answers. What was the creature then? A parasite?

 **_I AM NOT A PARASITE_ **

A swarm of angry wasps filled his head, rattling his brain in his skull like a croquet ball. Croquet Ball? He...remembered croquet? Or the idea of it at least, he didn’t think he’d ever played.

What was it then?

_I am Venom, and now, I am you._

* * *

Time was different with Venom. Sometimes ‘Bucky’ was aware, other times he wasn’t. Venom called his mind into consciousness to boast of his abilities at repairing Hydra’s touch, or more often than not, when he couldn’t find amusement among newly healed memories.

Venom wanted freedom, having been captive for almost as long as Bucky. And freedom? That was a novel concept. Bucky couldn’t grasp it. What it would be like to be on the outside without his Handler’s voice in his ear, or hunger gnawing at his belly, reminding him he needed to return like a whipped dog to its master. 

However much Venom wanted it, freedom would have to wait. Waking ‘them’ up fully from cryo would put too much strain on them, in Venom’s words. Not only that, Hydra would know Venom was within Bucky the moment they woke from being cryofrozen, and Hydra knew how to disarm Venom, at least for a little while. They would have to wait, and luckily for Venom, Bucky was more than patient enough for them both.

* * *

The funny thing about losing one’s identity was the loss of meaning. Meaning in all things. Self. His surroundings. Time. It all flowed endlessly, broken up by cold, yelling, and most of all, pain. Or it had, before Venom. The longer the years stretched the more impatient he became every time Venom nudged his consciousness awake just enough to think.

Every time felt like the first time, jarred awake into a shivering world where ‘scientists’ shoved tubes down his throat and connected others to less savory places. That loss of self where he wasn’t even in charge of eating or pissing by himself. Just tubes, and pain. 

Cold was right behind the pain. An all-consuming cold he felt right down in his bones. It didn’t matter how ‘advanced’ his body was, or whatever poison they pumped into his veins, he never felt warm. He could be standing in the shining sun and still feel the ice. Maybe that was all that was left of him.

Except this time, none of the pain lingered, or the burning discomfort of nutrient liquid being pumped into his stomach. The shivering sense of panic was nowhere to be found, not when Venom was grumbling constantly in the back of his head.

 _Just one little head. They won’t notice. They’re like ants._

Bucky inwardly smirked, having long found out what Venom considered appropriate ‘snacks’. He wasn’t one to judge, not with the shit Hydra had made him do...or what his country had made him do before that. 

He was never left idle for long, not when his Handler was quick to tug him into briefing. The others were afraid of him, afraid of the ‘ticks’ that had ended with him snapping the neck of a fool that had tried and failed to dominate him. He was punished, of course, but generally after he had already returned from his mission. They could afford to hurt him then, when he had time to recover between missions. 

Time. Bucky was new to the concept. Reintroduced everytime his Handler briefed him, gave him his target. Another senator, somewhere public, somewhere Hydra could revel in the bloodshed.

 _Now?_

Bucky suppressed a sigh underneath his mask as he sat in the back of the transport van. Venom had many qualities, but patience was not one of them. If they did it now the car would crash and then where would they be?

The van pulled into a back lot, secluded from the noon-day sun in some American town that looked like hundreds of others across the nation. Brick, cement, and desperation.

 _Now_?

Venom perked, and Bucky smirked darkly. Venom’s pitch body started overtaking him, not that the Hydra Agents noticed at first. It wasn’t until he was reaching out with a midnight fist, closing it around one of their throats, that they started screaming.

Twenty minutes later the clothing he’d snagged from an apartment clothes’ line itched and hugged in strange places, billowing out in even stranger.

 _These pants look ridiculous._

Venom thought dourly at their bell-shaped trousers. At least they hid the combat boots.

Jaunty music with instruments he didn’t know the name of wafted from a store front boasting new color televisions.  
  
_  
_ ~How does it feel, how does it feel?

To be without a home

Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone~

It sounded like mostly mumbling set to annoying whines, too loud, too grating. Cars whizzed by, sleek models in too-bright colors that seemed somehow _wrong_. But everything felt wrong whenever he woke. Itching underneath his skin. 

_This doesn’t look like it was in your memories._

Teenagers marched past, heads together whispering about war. The word made him twitch, only briefly. He didn’t have time to dawdle.

“It’s — “ Bucky froze in the middle of the street, hand sliding up to his lips. It was croaky despite the serum and Venom’s constant repairs, rough, and the cadence was all wrong, but it was his _voice_!

 _Bucky_?

He swallowed,”It’s...it’s because it’s twenty years after most my memories were made, pal.” Bucky resumed walking, making sure not to move his mouth too much as to not draw attention to himself more than his body type and wild-eyes already did. After ‘talking’ with Venom for so long he didn’t feel the need to fall back into how Hydra had trained him to be. He could feel it under the surface, tugging at him to fall into line, but Venom only snorted everytime the temptation grew too great. 

_Something smells good_. 

“You just ate a four-course meal.” Despite the grim subject a small grin pulled at his lips. A woman in a sunshine-yellow dress looked at him as she walked by, winking an overly done up eye at him.

 _She liked you_.

Bucky’s smile waned, a lump forming in his throat.

 _You miss him_.

“It wasn’t like that.” He hated when Venom turned the conversation to Steve. It hurt too much, knowing that he was out there somewhere, probably with a wife and kids. He was happy for Steve, he was, but — 

_You wanted it to be_.

Bucky didn’t reply, because they both knew the answer to that. It had been his cross to bear, lusting over his best friend like that. Unnatural. He’d seen the kind of lives the queers around the neighborhood lived and he wouldn’t drag Steve into a life like that on the off chance Steve felt the same way. Girls and liquor had made it easier, or at least he told himself.

 _Chump_.

He exhaled, tempted to plant his fist through the next store window just to give Venom something to do to keep his comments to himself. He’d gotten used to having Venom in his head by now, arguably more bearable than being left alone in it. 

“You really stickin’ with me then?” Bucky had wondered if Venom would jump ship the moment he found another suitable body. He knew he would have, if it were him. Who in their right mind would want to hitch a ride with Hydra’s lapdog?

 _Yes. I like you._ He forgot ‘right mind’ and Venom didn’t go in the same sentence. 

“You’re alright yourself.”

_Where are we going?_

Gathering the meager scraps of his balls only unearthed by Venom’s deep-diving, Bucky sucked in a hard breath.”Can’t sit here bein’ called a chump.” He needed to do this. Find out why no one had found him, if they’d looked for him. If Steve — 

_First, the smell, Bucky._

The wafting scent of fresh bread and meat coaxed them towards a small sandwich shop at the end of the street, pocket filled out by the dead agent’s lifted cash supply for the mission.

* * *

Getting to DC from Kansas wasn’t exactly easy when you were an ex-Hydra assassin caring around the world’s biggest tapeworm.

_I liked sheep._

Bucky was used to Venom’s pouty huffing by now as they stepped off the greyhound. “Tough luck.” There wouldn’t be time for eating anymore sheep for a while, not when Bucky had a mission on his mind. 

He’d been sent to assassinate enough people that he could remember flecks of details. Whispers of an organization that was bent on taking on Hydra and anyone like it. Granted, those idiots thought that ‘Hydra’ was only made up of splinter cells after the war. 

Still, he had enough to go on to get started. The only problem was this was going to take some deep stake-out work and Bucky wasn’t sure Venom was up for it. Venom perking up at ‘stake-out’ told him as much. This was going to be a long goddamn mission. 

First, they had to procure a hideout. He paid under the table for a shitty little room in a boarding house where everyone, blessedly, minded their own damn business. It was the beauty of places like these. No one wanted to be bothered, all having their own lives, their own damage, nevermind bothering with their neighbors. The room came ‘furnished’ with a cheap mattress and a desk, but it was still worlds more than he’d had before.

Venom, wisely, didn’t say a thing as he openly wept laying on the bed, pushing his face into the dusty pillow just to marvel at its existence. The springs in the mattress dug into his hip, the radiator smelled like petrified cooked rat, and the solitary window was slick with grime, but for the time being it was _his_. 

In the morning he woke to Venom’s inky body stretched from somewhere on his body (he’d stopped trying to identify it for the sake of his limited sanity) and towards the corner. Before he could ask what the hell Venom was doing, the alien darted forward and squeaks disappeared into his mouth. 

“Well, least we won’t have rats.” Bucky smirked, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. He gave himself a cursory sniff, blanching. New clothes would have to wait until later, he needed to get moving if he wanted to learn the schedules of the two names he had to go on. 

Maybe he should have started with Stark, but he doubted Howard would even recognize him. Bucky doubted he would even get past Jarvis looking like he did. The bus trip had left him rumpled and greasy, not to mention the general look of ‘offness’ even he could see in his eyes. His body was in fighting condition, but his mind? That hadn’t been functional in nearly twenty years. 

As predicted, Venom wasn’t at all pleased to learn a stake-out had nothing to do with a side of beef. 

_This is boring._ **_You_ ** _are boring._

“You had your chance to ditch me, make your bed and lie in it.” Bucky grumbled, sitting in the same uncomfortable position on his haunches as he had for the past four hours on top of a stinking roof. It had to be a popular spot for someone, considering the amount of trash.

_I want more chocolate._

Did Bucky say he was used to Venom? Because that might have been a big fat lie. Grumbling, he reached in the pocket of a jacket he’d nicked at the bus station and produced a dinged up hershey bar he’d been toting around in his pocket for exactly this reason. If he hadn’t already seen too much in his life the idea of a chocolate and brain eating alien would have been too much to handle. And to think, when he was a kid, he’d liked science-fiction.

Oh. That was a new memory.

He was so absorbed with turning the memory of books thrifted thrice over and Venom’s loud chewing he almost missed the man shuffling out of an apartment building across the street. Cussing, he hurried to the fire escape, letting his body fall back into the familiar muscle memory of the silent chase. 

Finding the headquarters of a ‘secret organization’ wasn’t that hard considering his skillset and Venom’s own unique senses. Tailing one agent led to another, then led to another, until one day he spotted Her, walking with one of the little agents he’d been following for two days. 

“Carter?” Bucky mouthed, watching her walk down the other side of the street from where he was pretending to read a newspaper. She was still a knockout, wearing straight leg pants and an outfit that said she was going to break skulls while looking good doing it. Seeing her smirk and laugh at what the woman at her side was saying burned acid in his core.

_Should I eat her?_

“What? No, Jesus. ” Bucky scowled, wondering where the hell that came from.

_You don’t like her. She stole him from you._

Flushing like he did everytime Venom toed into this do-not-touch territory, Bucky folded the paper and started after the women.”Wasn’t nothin’ to steal.” He should have fucking told Steve before it was too late. Even if he’d been rejected, because of course he would have been, it would have been worth it. Now there was nothing here in the world for him because Steve had no doubt moved on. He was probably even happy now that he was larger than life and America’s sweetheart. Bucky had seen Captain America branded candy at the bus station, and hadn’t that been wild.

_It was chalky._

Shaking his head and trying not to laugh, Bucky continued on.

That was until the two blended into a throng of people coming out of a building, and for a few brief moments he lost eyes on them. The lackey reappeared at the end of the crowd, still walking, but Carter had disappeared.

He walked in front of an alley, and Venom growled.

 _To the left!_

Bucky spun, grabbing the hand that reached out for him in his metal grip, eyes glazing over as Venom bled through.

Carter bit back a shout of pain and leveled her peashooter at his face in the same motion with her other hand. 

“Let me go this instant or — “ Carter’s prim voice abruptly stopped.

Bucky let go, jaw tensing. He should have known Carter would notice someone tailing her, even a shadow like him. That’s what made her so dangerous, like one of those pretty flowers that could kill a man dead with a single petal. No wonder Steve was crazy about her, wouldn’t surprise him if Bucky found out these two had gotten married after the war. He almost, _almost_ could say he wouldn’t be bitter about it, if that was the case.

“Barnes?” Some of the edge dropped from her voice, and she’d paled. Bucky saw ghosts too, but he doubted his were real. Just memories long past and the eyes of the people he’d killed.

“Long time no see.” He tried for a smile, like the old Bucky Barnes would have done, but judging by her flinch, it didn’t work. 

“How — “ She swallowed, righted herself, and continued on, plowing through her surprise like a champ.” — how do I know you are really Barnes? Barnes is supposed to be dead.”

Despite himself, Bucky scowled.”Yeah, well, you guys didn’t look that hard, now did you?” He all but hissed, an anger so visceral it cramped up his stomach blooming within.

Carter blanched as if she’d been slapped,”We tried, but there was only so much we could...You couldn’t have survived that fall.” Her eyes hardened, preparing to fight for her life, no doubt.

Bucky chortled mirthlessly, ”Guess again.”

Carter would have given Steve a run for his money with how sharp her jawline was right then, facing him down without an ounce of fear. “If you really are him, then you’ll come with me to SHIELD, it’s...well, we’re continuing where the SSR left off.” 

Another government agency probably chock-full of assholes that would do anything ‘for their country’. All the same brand, but different labels. 

“No thanks.”

“Then how would I ever believe you?”

Bucky took another step into the alley, Venom chortling quietly in his head as Carter stepped back.”Lady, if you only knew, you wouldn’t be askin’ me that.” 

Bucky hated looking into someone else’s eyes. Who knew what the other person saw in him these days, and worse, what if they told him? Bucky broke the silence first.

“Where’s Steve?” He didn’t expect Carter’s face to crack open like an egg, but there it was, a gut-punched grief blaring bright as day. She was quick to tidy it up, stitching her features together with frayed thread used too many times.

“He’s dead.”

For a long moment, Bucky didn’t think he even breathed. If it wasn’t for Venom, he didn’t think he’d be standing either.”No...that’s — that’s a lie. They were lying when they told me that, Steve wouldn’t actually…” But Carter looked away, manicured fingers clenching into fists.

“He saved us all. The dumb martyr. I was talking with him, when he,” She shook her head gently, as if banishing the memories. “He’s dead. We tried to find the body, but — “ 

Bucky hadn’t actively thought to lash out, he didn’t. His Ma would have beat him black and blue for raising his hand against a lady, but that hadn’t stopped him. Venom bled over his metal hand that seized Carter around the neck and backed her against the wall. All over his body, Venom leaked through, an impenetrable armor against anything that could ever hurt him. Including Peggy Carter.

“Let me guess, you didn’t find him either?” Venom’s voice layered with his own, reverberating through the alley. If anyone walking by the alley spotted them they sure as hell didn’t let on. A smart move on their part.

Carter dug her fingernails into Venom’s mass, but finding that ineffective she went back for her gun. Bucky let her.

Two bursts popped instead his other shoulder, a nonlethal blow, which was damn decent of Carter all things considered. Venom only chuckled.

“That doesn’t work anymore.” Bucky could see her fear now, her realization that she was staring into the face of a monster. She didn’t even know he’d already been one long before Venom rescued him.“Tell me where he is.”

Carter’s grip returned to his wrist, trying to let up the pressure against her slender neck that he could snap like a twig. If he wanted to. If he just let Venom take the lead…

_I could eat her._

Bucky loudly thought his displeasure.

“Let me down, and I’ll tell you.” He had to give it to Carter, despite her obvious terror she kept it together, facing him down like a real David against his Goliath. 

He let go, letting her back down on her sensible heels.”Don’t run, I’ll chase you.” He didn’t trust himself not to hurt her if she ran. It was instinct at this point. A dog trained to go for the kill. 

“As if I ever would,” Carter looked insulted by the notion. ”Steve crashed somewhere in the Arctic. We looked, Stark funded it, we tried Barnes. I — I didn’t want to leave him there either.” She was keeping her eyes carefully on his, making a point not to look at any of Venom that was encircling his body. It made him wonder the kind of things she’d seen in the past twenty years if she wasn’t a hysterical mess at the sight of him and Venom blended up together. Maybe she just had a steel pair even bigger than he’d given her credit for.

Bucky pushed down the growing wave, “Where’s Stark?” He wouldn’t be hard to find, not someone as loud as Howard, but there was always something to be said for shortcuts.

Carter’s eyes narrowed a fraction,”And why, would I tell you that?”

Venom spread over Bucky’s face, pulling his maw into a wide, fanged smile.”Because if you don’t, I’ll eat your head. Bucky would forgive me.”

Her face paled, and she backed against the rough brick. It didn’t matter how big your balls were, there was always some jackass around with bigger. And Venom? Venom’s were the biggest around.

* * *

  
  


_The city had rats._

Bucky rolled his eyes, shrugging deeper into his thick coat as they rattled around the sardine can of Stark’s ‘top of the line’ snow bus. Tank. A combo of both, really. Ugly, unnecessarily flashy, but admittedly just the thing for the job. 

They’d been jostling around in it for the past week on and off, the rest of Stark’s team fanned out in a three-mile stretch, supposedly scanning as they went.

“So, Barnes, not that I’m not thrilled with the prolonged uncomfortable silences and the menacing little par — “ For once, Howard caught himself before he could go and call Venom a parasite again. Last time Bucky had barely talked Venom into spitting Howard out. Granted, it had really expedited getting Howard to do what Bucky said and get their asses to the Arctic now rather than later. “ — friend..I’m feeling like a chat, and a whiskey.” 

Howard, being Howard, hoisted a lever and locked the machine into a straight-shooting autopilot and turned in his overstuffed chair to access the minibar.

“You always feel like a whiskey,” Bucky smirked, cutting his eyes to the man that he remembered twenty years younger. Howard looked good, but then men with as much money as Howard had always managed to keep the worst of life at bay. Rich men could throw money at anything and make their problems go away, even aging, apparently. 

Howard laughed, knocking back his fresh glass, sitting there in his Italian leather chair as if they weren’t in the middle of nowhere when it was minus twenty outside.”Can’t argue with that,” He swiveled, turning towards Bucky with a weighted consideration in his discerning eyes.

“You look like shit.” Came his elegant observation.

Bucky leveled a blanket stare, as Venom rippled a _He’s loud. Are you sure I can’t eat him?_

Aloud, Bucky added,”Nah, considering his blood alcohol, you’d get pickled if you ate him.” Stark paled, hastily pouring himself another glass.

“And widow a new bride? I _did_ mention I’m newly hitched, didn’t I? Leaving my poor heart all alone while I’m off on this great adventure you’ve got us on here. One I’m generously footing the bill for — “

“You all left him in the first place,” Bucky hissed, metal hand bending the armrest gripped below. 

Howard blew out a hard breath, nursing his next drink.”I looked for him kid, exhausted every resource I could. But the war was still going and what with recovering that cube and no Cap? What were we supposed to think? Have you considered that your boy might — “

“ _No_ ,” Bucky snarled, Venom’s voice layered over his own until he retreated, letting Venom take over as he nursed the surge of bone-deep panic within. 

Howard dropped his glass, pressing himself back in his seat as he watched Venom’s form envelop Bucky’s body, right down to his puffy coat. “Let’s not be drastic, got no problems with...whatever you are.”

“ _You will find him, or else.”_ Venom leveled on Howard, swiping his long pink tongue against a mouth full of irregular fangs. “ _Your people said they leave no one behind, but you left_ **_two_ ** _. Drive your damn box_.” 

With a shaky nod, Howard swiveled right back to slap his quivering hands on the steering wheel. Distantly, Bucky felt guilty for threatening people he had once called, if not friends, colleagues. But for Steve he would burn the world to the ground, if it meant finding him. Steve deserved to be laid to rest in Brooklyn. Bucky would find Mrs Roger’s tiny tombstone and get them both somewhere nicer like they deserved, if it was the last thing he did. 

_And after?_ Venom probed. 

Acid churned in their stomach. After, they were going to tear Hydra down in a reign of blood and bullets. 

Venom purred. 

* * *

“Shit!” Howard bringing the vehicle to a lurching halt nearly unseated Bucky from his doze. 

Bucky righted himself, banishing sleep from his eyes as he peered into the blanket of falling snow past the windshield. Beside him, Howard’s radio crackled back to life. ‘We found something big, repeat, we found something’ he rattled off the coordinates and Howard spun the wheel to the east.

“Is it him?” Three weeks of nothing had Howard’s men snappish and unsettled, which said nothing of the man himself. Bucky had been tempted to let Venom take a few bites, if only to keep Howard quiet for longer than ten minutes at a time. Bucky's blatant disinterest did nothing to deter Howard's endless rambling.

Howard glanced, kicking the behemoth into high gear.”No telling yet, got a lot of junk before. Old oil tankers, abandoned research sites,” Howard opened his mouth to continue, eyeing Bucky a little longer. For once, Howard shut his trap and kept driving, sitting up a little straighter as they neared the loose ring of other vehicles. 

He was out of the snow tank before Howard had zipped his coat, leaving Stark to yelp and flounder as Bucky went charging out into the snow. 

“What is it?” He growled, walking up to a man he recognized as the gathered personnel’s boss who in turn answered to Howard. 

Yanik’s brows furrowed,”Where is Mr Stark?”

Bucky thrust his hand out, snatching Yanik’s coat in his hand and hauling him forward, Venom simmered just under the surface, but wisely, they didn’t break out the big guns just yet. The men wouldn’t work if they were terrified.

“I asked, what is it?” Bucky repeated, seeing the initial fight in Yanik waver the longer the man looked into his eyes. No one these days could look at him for long without looking away, especially Stark. He wasn’t sure what they saw when looking at him, but Bucky hadn’t asked either. 

Nodding with a sharp jerk, Yanik waved over his shoulder.”It’s — it’s metal, whatever it is, big too. Under nearly a yard of solid ice, we need something hefty if we want to — “ Bucky shoved him away and stalked out towards the flares lighting up the perimeter. 

He could see lanterns planted into the snow as men plotted out the shape of what ever lurked below the size. Too slow. 

Venom bloomed, swallowing him up, and they leapt. 

Their legs punched into the ice, sending nearby workers yelling and scrambling away. Their fists bit, sending chunks flying as they tore without mercy. Venom could make needles from his matter, blades, _claws_ , and they dug, dug with a ferocity that had Venom growling in satisfaction at finally being able to stretch his metaphorical legs. 

Behind them, he could hear Howard laugh nervously and tell the men to stay back, to let ‘Bucky’ work. Even with Venom at the helm it took nearly an hour for their fingers to bite metal, sinking into the frozen hull with an audible screech. 

Another two punches had the metal folding, and they tore at it, pulling up a section big enough to disappear into. 

Later, Bucky couldn’t say how long he was down there, letting Venom lead the way in the dark. Couldn’t say what he’d done when they found a solid mound of ice in the cockpit. He knew from second-hand accounts that the anguish out of his and in turn, Venom’s voice had reverberated through the metal coffin, wailing through the frozen night.

How, hours later when the men had finally gotten harnesses and wenches set up they emerged hefting the block of ice in Venom’s brackish form, frozen tears clinging to Bucky’s cheeks. 

Imagine his shock when they got the ice block into the back of Howard’s tank and the resident doctor probed into the ice for a sample, only to find cold, but thick red blood at the end of his instrument instead of the frozen blood of the dead. 

“Holy shit,” He gasped,” This cat’s alive.”   
  


* * *

\--Steve POV--

  
  
“-eve. Wake up!”

“Mr Barnes, it’s not wise to yell at him, you could disorient him.”

Conversation buzzed above him, distant and through a tin can. Steve groaned, brows furrowing as he tried and failed to slap a hand to whatever was hugging his face.

“Steve!” The first voice, one he felt he should know, called again, louder and more insistent.

“Am I going to have to ask you to leave?”

“Buddy, you can fuckin’ try.” 

Steve’s eyes slid open, making out two blurry shapes at the side of his bed. One was squared up, puffing out his chest. For a moment, Steve thought they were wearing some kind of funny shaped white goggles. The second figure took a small step back, grumbling under his breath about coming back later for tests. 

“ _Pussy._ ” A third, more gravelly disembodied voice smirked.

He blinked again, willing his eyes to clear. His body felt like it was weighed down by bricks, hot, cold, and aching in a way he felt distinctly wrong but for reasons he couldn’t pin down right then. He tried to move anything that would listen. His right hand flailed out, knocking into a tray to send things flying.

“Shit, hey, be still, you big idiot.” The slightly-less-blurry blob on his left leaned closer, reaching to gently grasp his left hand. Cool metal curled around Steve’s fingers pulling a gasp from his throat that had him hacking up his lungs for nearly a minute after.

A warmer hand patted his back, tilting him forward so he could cough up sputum into a pale blue tray the shape of a kidney bean. “That’s it, they said you’d be doin’ that a lot. Something about..organ functions, I ain’t a doctor.” The voice sniffed mulishly. “Just keep breathin’ punk.”

Punk .

It hit him with all the care of a sledgehammer. Everything one after the other. From running through the streets of Brooklyn, the Stark Expo center, the sound of raining mortar, the mourning wail of a train, and finally, the sound of a plane falling through the air towards unforgiving ice. 

He sat up with the coordination of a drunk toddler and pitched himself to the left, fumbling to grasp the black fabric clinging to a broad chest....Broad chest?

“B...Buck?” Steve croaked, voice cracking as the person he knew and didn’t know to be Bucky moved away. Bucky quickly returned, pressing a paper cup to his lips full of tepid water he drank greedily.

“Slow down, Stevie..me and the water ain’t goin’ anywhere.”

Barely resisting a whine at having the cup taken away, Steve reached up and snagged the oxygen mask off his face. His eyes started to clear the more he blinked, and the man at his bedside started to take shape. 

He was built, a solid muscular figure accented by black and long hair to match. One arm was slightly more bulky than the other, perhaps he favored that one? Steve estimated him to only be an inch or so shy of him, which wasn’t all that uncommon except the man looked like _Bucky_ , and the Bucky he knew was a few shy thanks to the super-serum. 

A strained smile pulled on Bucky’s lips, “Hey.”

This couldn’t be Heaven, not when he could feel a catheter pinching like a lobster had adhered to his groin but no other option seemed as plausible. He was in some kind of hospital room, and Bucky Barnes was back from the dead, and apparently, so was he. 

His eyes blurred all over again as he seized Bucky in a hug as tight as he could manage leaving Bucky to take up the slack. Which, why wasn’t Bucky hugging with his left arm? 

“Sorry it took me so long, pal.” Bucky rumbled above, voice deeper and slower than it had been before. Something had happened after he’d gone down. Bucky had been _alive_?

“”M s..sorry, thought you...dead.” His throat still felt ungainly and bizarrely uncooperative. He was used to a body that continued on without fail these days, not the struggling one he’d left behind a few years ago. 

Bucky exhaled harshly above, face buried against the top of Steve’s head.”Yeah, me too.” Another handful of seconds passed,”What’s this about you crashin’ the Val — “

“Steve?” The door opened, admitting Peggy and Howard, both casting tentative glances at Bucky as they entered. 

Steve leaned up, awkwardly wiping up the tears with a faintly quaking touch. He turned, and his stomach dropped right through the floor. 

It was Peggy, but it wasn’t. She looked mostly the same, save for the youthful shine that had tempered into something more honed and mature. Figure more full, hair in some kind of gravity defying hive on top of her head. Howard looked much the same if not for errant threads of silver within the black of his hair.

“Pegs? Howard?” The two didn’t hazard closer, which Steve thought was strange. Once again, they glanced at Bucky. Bucky nodded, and Peggy hurried forward, throwing her arms around his shoulders and pulling him in tight. 

“God, it’s really you. We never in a million years — Steve if we’d known — “ Peggy started, stumbling over her words in ways Steve had never heard before.

“So what, his dead body was no rush then?” Bucky drawled behind him and everyone froze. 

Steve extracted himself from Peggy’s arms, looking around the room. The hospital room was far different than the ones he’d been used to in his youth. This was sleeker, modern in a way Steve knew didn’t mean the same as it had when he crashed. 

“...What year is it?” The question formed on his tongue before he was conscious of the realization.

Three pairs of eyes diverted momentarily. It was Howard that cracked first, drawing up his chest and rocking on his heels,”’fraid it’s nineteen-sixty-five, you took one hell of a nap.” His too-wide smile waned under Bucky’s glare. 

Nineteen-sixty-five, twenty years after he’d pointed the plane down and _thought_ he’d sealed his fate. After a tense, uncomfortable round of questions he found out it was because of the serum that he was alive, and that Howard had tried valiantly to look for him, how valiantly, however, Bucky found issue with.

“Except they left you to be an ice cube the moment they got their mitts on that cube you were hauling.” Bucky sneered. 

Peggy’s eyes flared wide, turning towards Howard with murder in her eyes. Howard backstepped, hands raised, ”Don’t give me that look, gorgeous, I usually like it when you’re mad but you know how that _thing_ gets, what was I supposed to do?”

“That’s a matter of national security Howard, especially when…” Peggy trailed, cutting her eyes back to Bucky, who only smiled, one as cold and dangerous as the mountains Steve thought he lost him to. 

“Say it, go on,” Bucky challenged. Whatever ‘it’ was, Peggy didn’t finish her sentence.

Which was for the better, because now it was Steve’s turn.”You...brought that thing back?” He remembered the madness in Schmidt's eyes as he ranted and raved about the cube’s power. How the man looked when he’d died. The damn thing had melted straight through the plane and they wanted to what? He doubted the thing was encased in cement and locked in the deepest pit, that’s for damn sure.

“Gotta think of the bigger picture here, thing like that, think of the energy we could harness,” Howard started in on what felt like a very well practiced spiel. Probably the same one he’d given to any other stuff-shirt that had asked the same question.

When he looked at Peggy for her own answer, he was met with a slight clench of her jaw, and that was answer enough. Those two were always thinking of the ‘bigger picture’.

“You two sound the fuckin’ same, you know that right?” Bucky snapped with a vehemence that startled them all. 

Peggy puffed up,”I can’t believe you would say that! We have to find a way to — “

“ — Win? ‘Beat them’? That’s what it’s about, right? Tell Steve how ‘we’ won the war. _Tell him_.” Maybe it was lasting damage from the unfreezing process, but Steve could have sworn he saw black tendrils lurking underneath Bucky’s skin.

He wished they wouldn’t have told him. He found out what the kidney-bean shaped plastic tub was for when he threw up all the water he’d just drank trying to comprehend the enormity of the cost ‘winning’ came with.

Howard and Peggy left after that, and Steve had never thought he would be thankful to see them leave. 

Bucky’s hand rubbed against his back, oddly cold and hard. Steve opened his mouth to try and say something, anything, that would make sense, but someone else beat him to it.

 _“That went well_. “

* * *

\--Steve's POV--

  
Venom wasn’t anything Steve had been prepared for in his life. Super-serum body, mad scientists, and plot to destroy the world aside, Venom was what truly surprised him.

Steve sat at the table of the apartment Howard all but forced them into accepting, watching as Bucky read the morning paper and sipped his coffee and Venom...Venom was eating something Steve _hoped_ was a leg of lamb. Over the past three months, Steve had stopped questioning the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ of Venom.

The alien purred as he ate, the blobby mass stretched out from somewhere on Bucky’s body, seamless. The two were blended wholly together, and Steve had sat through the explanation without trying to stare blatantly, he had. But. Well.

He was thankful! Beyond grateful to the strange creature for being the one to bring Bucky home. To bring him out of something truly, unfathomably horrible. Venom had saved both of their lives, and Steve wasn’t going to forget that, not by a long shot.

But how did one co-exist with an alien goo creature that had a taste for chocolate and red meat?

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice prompted Steve from his staring.

A faintly peevish look crossed over Bucky’s face. He didn’t like it when Steve treated Venom any different than anyone else. Bucky had reached a relative ease with Venom more than he had with about anything else in their new life, including Steve. He tried not to let that sting. 

“You didn’t hear anything I said, did you?” Bucky asked, setting his cup down with a small smirk. That was another thing Steve had to get used to. Bucky didn’t smile like he used to. None of them really did, not after what they’d seen, but Bucky even more so. Hydra had done things to Bucky Steve couldn’t think about without getting the cold sweats, so he wasn’t going to sit there and complain about any lack of sunshine. 

Steve sheepishly picked up his own cup, “No,” He admitted, knowing better than to lie to Bucky by this point in their lives. They’d changed, but some things would always be the same.

“I said, there’s some letters for you, from the boys.” Meeting with the Howling Commandos again had been as wonderful as it was strange. There had been tears, hugs, a few horrified gasps, and even a fair bit of yelling on Steve’s choice of ‘exit strategies’, but overall it was nice to have some anchoring points in the new decade.

Steve walked to the table near the door, thumbing through the mail. Some from no-return addresses that got immediately binned, no doubt from the government, and one he paused at. Rebecca Proctor. Steve knew that name only because Howard had given them a list of any and all surviving relatives. Little Becca wasn’t so little anymore, grown up and married. 

He looked over his shoulder, watching as Bucky turned away, looking out the window with a closed off expression that said more than words ever could.

“...You want me to read it?” Steve asked, walking back over. He nudged Venom gently to vacate to the other shoulder so Steve could line up their arms, even if Bucky couldn’t feel it on the left side.

“I will, I...just need a little.” Bucky mumbled, leaning into the touch with a tired sigh.”I don’t want her to see me like this, Steve.”

Between them, Venom bobbed, blinking up at their conversation with a low rumble.” _She will be afraid_.”

Steve didn’t want to lie. Rebecca probably would be afraid.”Yeah, but she’ll be more happy to have you back, Buck. And look at it this way, you’re basically the younger brother now.” He offered a tiny smile and nudged Bucky a little, Venom wobbling from the inertia. 

Bucky huffed a barely-there chuckle and Steve counted it as a win. “I guess...And if you wanna read it out loud, I’d...listen.” 

Nodding, Steve placed the mail on the table and stood.”I’ll be right back,” All the coffee was starting to catch up to him.

His hand was on the doorknob when Bucky yelled,”The bathtub is occupied!” While Venom chimed in,” _You may have some_.” Steve paled, closing the door from the fraction of an inch he’d opened it, the scent of blood already escaping through the crack. 

He’d hold it.

* * *

~Steve pov~

Something was wrong.

Okay, that was an exaggeration, but something was _weird_. Bucky was being squirrely — er than usual. Steve would walk into a room only for the conversation between Venom and Bucky to abruptly halt and Bucky would hot-foot it out of there looking like he’d got caught talking behind the teacher’s back. 

Steve couldn’t even bribe it out of Venom without alerting Bucky since Bucky slept ever more shallowly than Steve. What was the use of having a gossipy alien when Steve couldn’t even benefit from it? Venom had _plenty_ to say about everything else, including his opinion between Hershey and Galaxy chocolate (And obviously it was Cadbury, he and Buck been well-introduced in England during the war when they’d finally had two pennies to rub together). 

He sighed, watching the creature in question crunch his way through a bag of truly vile candy Bucky had picked up from the sweet-shop two streets over. Venom noticed his stare and a moment later Bucky glanced over and immediately looked away. Bucky wasn’t even watching the television set, Steve could tell by now when Bucky was zoned out. Six months living together again had shown old habits blending with the new and they were finding their footing. More or less. 

Not to say they weren’t restless. They were, or at least Steve was. He wasn’t sure what to _do_ with himself these days. They had their back-pay courtesy of Peggy and Howard’s involvement and Howard swore up and down they’d be taken care of til the end of their days, which was fine of him and all, but Steve had never wanted that. He just wanted to occupy himself and do some good…Except, neither one of them wanted to fight anymore. 

Almost as soon as one war ended another started up, and this one felt more of the same.

It felt sacrilegious, but after what he’d learned he couldn’t do it anymore. Steve couldn’t justify balancing the books with more and more blood, and Bucky felt the same. They had enough blood on their hands, it was time to close that chapter and find something new again. Even if Steve felt guilty as hell when he had this body of his. Dr Erskine would understand, Steve felt it in his bones. 

Huffing yet another sigh, Steve went back to sketching.

“‘M thinking about going back to art school.” Steve announced, side-glancing once more. 

Bucky’s attention focussed, finally, lips pursing faintly. ”Ain’t you a bit..recognizable?” Their old images were still plastered on things here and there, but Steve was decidedly more recognizable than Bucky. There was even a candy in the shape of his iconic shield, Venom wasn’t a fan. '‘Chalky’, can you believe it?

“‘S why i’m growin’ out my hair.” And boy, wasn’t that weird. Men these days had all sorts of hairstyles, no one would expect Captain America to look anything less than fresh-faced and clean-cut. The similarities between Hilter’s ideals and some of America's hadn’t been lost on him.

A small smile, the ghost of one of Bucky’s old lop-sided grins, spread on his lips.”What, you goin’ to join those protests on campus too?” He teased, thinking the groups of college-kids misguided. 

Steve puffed. They’d had this argument almost every time they watched the news together these days. ”Maybe,” Bucky had never agreed with him attending those socialist rallies way-back-when anyway. 

Bucky rolled his eyes and went back to ‘watching’ television. Venom, however, perked up from resting his little head on Bucky’s shoulder. ” _Bucky wants to go to trade school_.” Steve could practically see the little devil horns when Venom tattled. It was one of his favorite games, injecting information where it would be the most ‘helpful’ aka, chaotic. 

While Bucky’s face paled, Steve brightened,”That’s great!”

Bucky scrunched down a little more on the couch, ”Ain’t nothin’. Just..thought it’d be nice. Could be a mechanic of somethin’ now that everyone and their uncle has cars.” They were still learning the ins and outs of this decade, but thankfully twenty years hadn’t been like being dropped off on another planet. Things were shinier, that was for damn sure, and everything was electric or irradiated, but it was manageable.

“It _is_ somethin’,” Steve mimicked Bucky’s pouty tone,”And it’s a good idea. Don’t want to be an accountant anymore?” Steve gently teased, since Bucky had been real swell at numbers way-back-when. He’d lost his job as an accountant a year before the war, but not because he hadn’t been aces at it. 

Silence stretched, and Steve flinched. He’d walked on a landmine. Bucky had more than a few of them hidden away, and usually if Venom was out he’d stick out his tongue or something to tell Steve to shut up but he’d been conspicuously quiet the entire time. 

Bucky shrugged at length,”Makes my head feel too busy.” It was barely mumbled, however Steve’s enhanced hearing had no issues picking it up. 

Setting his pencil down, Steve went to join Bucky on the couch. Carefully, Steve knocked their shoulders together, even if Bucky’s heavy arm smarted a bit. “I know what you mean.”

Surprise bloomed on Bucky’s face,”You do?”

“Yeah, They call it battle-fatigue or somethin’ now...you know, shell shock. I did some readin’ at the library.” Steve shrugged just slightly. None of the books had been all that nice about it, and some were just downright insulting, but he’d at least studied. “I, uh, asked around too,” Steve hastened, seeing the wide-eyed panic in Bucky’s eyes start to form,”Nothin’ like that. Other soldiers, and Dumdum and the others. Most of them know what I mean too? Gettin’ antsy in open places, jumpy when there are too many people around, the...night terrors.” His own face scrunched. So far they’d been ignoring each other when they jolted awake with a yell or hit the decks, however Steve thought it was about time they stopped. 

Bucky swallowed, nodding slow and deep.”Guess the shit we saw would do that, right?”

 _“And dying, and Hydra,”_ Venom supplied, and they both stilled. 

Yeah. Hydra would definitely do that too. So would ‘dying’, Steve guessed.

Which was why it shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise when a week later Steve twitched from a deep sleep as his door creaked open. Moments later heavy feet thumped against the floor, and Steve’s brows furrowed. The only time Bucky’s feet made noise was when Venom was — 

“Venom?” Steve yawned, rolling over to see Venom filling the doorframe.

“ _He’ll be mad._ ” Venom warned, giving Steve absolutely no time to figure out when he meant before he retreated back into Bucky’s body, leaving Bucky standing there near-naked in his shorts, shaking, and pale. 

“F-fucker,” Bucky hissed, looking ready to fight his own organs if it made Venom suffer a little. 

Getting to a sitting position against the headboard, Steve took Bucky in. The angry scars around Bucky’s shoulders never healed fully and once again Steve hoped Bucky would eventually allow Howard to look at his arm, see what he could do. Bucky had gained a bit of weight since they’d been here, which was damn good, since he’d been toeing ‘skinny’, which for a super-soldier was about like starving. They could demolish a whole ham between them just as a midday snack these days. 

More than anything, Bucky looked _young_. He had a youthful fear written in his eyes that softened the intimidating glare usually in his pale-blues, hair half in front of his right. He hunched in on himself, arms wrapped around his waist as if trying to keep himself from flying apart. 

“What’s goin’ on Buck?” Steve threw his blanket aside, patting the spot next to him out of reflex. It wasn’t like they hadn’t shared a bed before, he’d spent enough nights over at the Barnes’ place and Bucky at his as kids, not to mention sharing a tent in the war. 

Bucky hesitated, taking one step forward, stopping, and chewing his lip. Venom rippled underneath his skin and Bucky sagged, the final tethers keeping him at the door snapping. Bucky hurried onto the bed, plastering himself to Steve’s side with a shaking,”S-sorry.”

Steve’s heart broke a little, already suspecting what had happened. ”No need,” He rumbled, wiggling a bit to wrap his arms around Bucky’s shoulders and draw him close. He could smell the Zest on Bucky’s skin, sharp and crisp from an after-dinner shower. He didn’t know why that was a comfort to him, or why he even noticed.

“What happened?” Steve’s quiet inquiry was met with silence and Bucky curling up a little smaller. 

Venom bled from Bucky’s side, large white eyes peering up like a cat in the dark.” _Dreams. Blood and knives. The examination room was...unpleasant.”_ A thread of knowing leaked into Venom’s voice, and he hunkered back down against Bucky’s skin, a black mass resting just on the surface. 

His stomach clenched up, one hand raising to thread through Bucky’s hair. ”I’ve got you. You ain’t ever going back,” Venom blinked up at him, and Steve’s expression softened, ”Either of you.” A slow tendril bled from the mass to wrap around the wrist resting against Bucky’s back. Sometimes he forgot that Venom was just as much a thinking, breathing (he wasn’t too sure on that one, actually), living being like they were, capable of everything they were and more. 

They stayed like that for hours, Steve whispering low against Bucky’s head while Venom’s tendrils lazily shifted between their bodies, seeking out warmth and comfort as much as Bucky was. It was near dawn when Steve felt his grasp on wakefulness slipping, tangled up with Bucky under the sheets with Venom stuck between, on, and around them (and boy, was that a weird sensation). 

He was nearly fully under when Bucky shifted, the weight of his eyes heavy in the dark.”...I ain’t ever leavin’ you either...how can I?” He whispered, more to himself than Steve. 

Steve was nearly under when Venom rustled against his side, rousing him just enough to feel Bucky cuddle back close and whisper, ”I love you too much,” against his skin.

* * *

\--Bucky POV —

  
  
  


Something was wrong.

And no,he wasn’t being dramatic. Steve was acting strange — er than usual. Steve had always been kind of a weird kid and shooting up a foot hadn’t changed much. The side glances, the getting flustered over weird things, not to mention Venom was acting entirely too pleased with himself lately.

 _You’re paranoid_. Venom rumbled as Bucky watched Steve pour over the paperwork it would take to get him back into school. He still had a charcoal smudge from sketching a few hours earlier on his cheek.

It felt so much like _before_ even if almost everything was different. Existing in the same room as Steve, watching him hunch over a desk in frankly horrible posture, brows furrowed in concentration. 

Steve must have sensed him watching, pencil still as their eyes met. Like the seven times over the past week Steve was unable to hold his eye contact and looked off, heat rising to his cheeks.

What the fuck?

 _Ask him_ As if it was so easy. _Pu —_

“Don’t you fucking say it,” Shit, he’d said that out loud.

Steve looked back over, and Bucky sighed, ”Venom, not you.”

“I figured,” Steve chortled, as if he wasn’t entirely used to Bucky and Venom’s odd symbiosis by this point. Steve had accepted it with more grace than Bucky had given him credit for. But that was just Stevie, the stupid cartoon on the television had gotten that right at least. A good man, through and through.

Their eyes lingered, Bucky quietly mounting this game of chicken to see if Steve would — He fucking did it again! 

_You two are painful._ Bucky was about to start imagining white noise just to tune Venom out a while.

The ripple of emotion radiating off of Venom wasn’t settling Bucky’s nerves either. “What are you so smug about?”

 _Ask Steve_. Venom was practically purring up a storm. You know what? Fine. 

“You know why Venom is actin’ like the cat that caught the canary?” Bucky asked as he got up to retrieve a beer from the fridge. Alcohol didn’t do jack to either of them anymore, but Bucky still craved the taste. 

And of course he couldn’t have one without Venom mumbling, _piss water_ like a toddler everytime he popped the cap on his metal thumb.

Steve’s pencil had stopped, eyeing Bucky suspiciously.”What do you mean?” He asked, frustratingly aloof. 

“He’s been actin’ like he’s got some big amazing secret all week and he’s drivin’ me crazy with it.” Not entirely a lie but enough of the truth where Bucky felt confident Steve wouldn’t pick up on it. It apparently didn’t matter he’d been torture-trained by Hydra into having a brutal poker face, Steve never failed to read him like a book. 

Steve’s face darkened another two shades. Now Bucky was absolutely convinced Steve knew exactly what he was talking about. What the hell could Venom and Steve know that he wouldn’t?

“You know him, could’a been another cat.” Steve’s face pinched slightly. Steve had liked that cat.

“ _No_.” Venom bled from Bucky’s shoulder, a secretive grin curling his ‘face’. 

He was getting irritated.”One of you two out with it or i’m knockin’ both your heads together.” It came out a little more murderous than he’d meant to, but Bucky was still getting the hang of being less hostile when agitated.

“ _Tell him,”_ Bucky wasn’t sure who Venom was talking to at this point. 

The little muscle in Steve’s jaw twitched as his jaw clenched that said he was just as annoyed at Venom as Bucky was. Which was nice, but not answering any questions. 

“It’s nothing,” Steve replied breezily, attempting to go back to his paperwork.

Bucky snorted, plopping himself down on the chair opposite of him.”Like fuck it ain’t, out with it. What’s going on?”

Seconds stretched between them and right around when Bucky was going to prompt _again_ , Steve finally sighed.”The night we slept in my room, I was falling asleep when I heard you say somethin’.”

That nauseous, shit-in-pants-inducing fear that came with free-falling was rapidly taking over Bucky’s curiosity. “...Oh yeah?” He went for nonchalance. If Hydra had been good for something, it was teaching him how to be cool under pressure. 

“I’m sure you just, meant it — I mean it wasn’t a big — You just kind of said you loved me is all, and that’s fine! Hey, I uh, you too. You know? I just never heard you say it in plain English like that.” Steve was rambling which meant his brain was two seconds from overheating completely. 

Bucky needed to laugh, agree, and act embarrassed. He knew the script, he’d faked harder acts before in his training. It would be nothing to admit that he’d been feeling sappy or in a weird place. Best friends loved each other, even if they didn’t say it. Easy.

But he didn’t do any of that. Instead, he bolted from the table and towards the door, heart thundering in his chest. 

Steve’s chair clattered against the floor in his haste to follow, yet it wasn’t Steve’s, ”Wait!” that made him stop. No, it was Venom flying out to spread his ichor across the doorframe, a macabre spiderweb preventing Bucky from running away until he could figure out how to admit to Steve he’d been in love with him since they were kids. 

“Buck! Wait a minute, Jesus.” Steve took him by the shoulder and Venom’s grip slackened, allowing Steve to turn him around.”Calm down, it’s...just come back.” Since Venom was the world’s biggest traitor, Bucky had no choice but to comply.

 _Dramatic._ Venom rolled his eyes tonally, as if he wasn’t the world’s biggest Primadonna himself. 

They sat on the couch instead of the kitchen table this time, “Steve — “

“ — Cram it for a minute, will ya?” Steve interrupted with a rushed exhale, fingers curling into the soft, fuzzy material of his trousers. People sure wore corduroy differently than in their childhood. 

He had to glare to make his displeasure at being hushed known but otherwise he went quiet. This had to be where Steve turned him down flat but in his no-nonsense genuine way, at best. At worst? Steve was going to say how utterly disgusted he was with Bucky and he’d be moving right away so he didn’t have to live in the same space as a poof.

“I heard you say it, and...I guess I want to ask, before either of us say anything else. Buck, did you mean you’re _in_ love with me?” Steve looked him dead in the eye, but there wasn’t disgust there, like Bucky had half expected. 

He swallowed, arm whirring as the plates shifted and calibrated with his nerves. He didn’t want to lie. _Then don’t_ . Venom didn’t understand what was at stake here. If he did then **_Say it_ **. Venom’s voice made his insides rattle when he got like that. Fine, but it was going to be Venom’s fault later when Bucky was stumbling city to city looking for his will to live when Steve turned him out. 

“I’ve...been in love with you since I was sixteen,” It was a physical weight lifted to speak it. His darkest, best kept secret for so many years. 

Steve’s breath hitched,”O-oh,” As if he hadn’t expected Bucky to actually say it.

“If you want me to go, I will. I know it’s messed up and it was one thing to live where we did, but you don’t gotta — “

“ — What did I say about crammin’ it?” Steve huffed, plowing through before Bucky could take his turn rambling. ”I ain’t, I’d _never_ ask you to go, you got that? You know I never had a problem with who wanted who,” Steve’s chin tilted up in that holier-than-thou-art attitude when he thought someone was being backwards. Steve had never had ill will towards the queer neighborhood, Bucky was just surprised it extended to best friends too. 

“I thought that’s what you meant all along, deep down, and I guess it just surprised me is all. You never showed any signs of it, and all the girls,” Steve smirked, reminding Bucky of his very active dating life prior to the war. 

A wry grin curled at the corner of Bucky’s lip,”I said I was in love with you, not that I was dead.” He’d tried to make himself forget about his feelings every way he’d known how, but no amount of lacquered lips he’d tasted had made him forget about the skinny twerp waiting for him in their shared apartment. 

Rolling his eyes, Steve continued. ”At first I wasn’t sure what to think about it. I’d never even thought of you like that.” It shouldn’t hurt to hear it, and yet Bucky’s chest still clenched all the same. ”Or I thought I hadn’t? But this week...I was doin’ some thinkin’. We’ve always been together, you and me, thick and thin, since we were kids. I knew we wouldn’t always be together back then, you’d get hitched, have kids, make something of yourself,” Bucky noticed Steve didn’t say anything of his own future, maybe because they’d all just expected his number to be punched way too damn soon. “But I always wished that it wouldn’t happen. That we could just...and now we _can_ , me and you, and I thought maybe that sounded a little weird, right? Wanting to live with your best friend forever, not wanting him to get married or anythin’?” Steve huffed a tiny laugh and a note of hope flickered in the darkness. 

“What I’m tryin’ to say is, I think I’ve loved you for a while too.”

Before Bucky could pass out, shout, or push his face against Steve, Venom sagged with a groaned, “ _Finally.”_

The asshole.

* * *

\--Bucky POV--  
  


So here’s the thing.

He knew he’d had sex, obviously, Venom had restored his mind as much as possible. There were a few holes, like the color of his sister’s eyes, the age of 13, or his time at basic, but the bulk of it was there. So that’s how he knew he’d chased some skirts in his days and considered himself pretty good at it. 

But this was Steve, and Bucky had never been with a man before. It didn’t matter what sort of configuration Steve had in a technical sense, Bucky was afraid of being royally disappointing. A few weeks into this and they’d held hands, kissed a little, and snuggled, but there was a threshold there neither one of them was willing to cross first. 

_What is it you say to me? Oh yes, ‘You’re exhausting’._ Venom being the peanut gallery sure wasn’t helping. Steve had been a real peach about this whole situation but Bucky wasn’t sure where the boundaries were. Would Steve even _want_ to be more intimate...considering?

Venom made an insulted scoff.

“Don’t sass me, no one on earth is used to fuckin’ an alien —” Which was exactly the time Steve swung the front door open while Bucky cut off the blender for Steve’s post-run breakfast. Bucky wasn’t about to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn to run, but he’d make breakfast for them once he finally dragged his ass from bed. Steve sputtered on his water bottle, pausing mid sweat-towel wipe.”S-sorry, I thought you would have heard me.” He gestured unnecessarily to the doorway he was still hovering in. 

Bucky groaned, resting his forehead against the blender and absently wondering if it would be a viable way to end it all.”I was — the blender…” He finished lamely, ignoring Venom’s full-on laughter at this point. 

“I’ll just, let you guys...with your conversation.” Steve swallowed, tomato red as he shut the door and scuttled to the bathroom. 

Bucky knocked his head against the blender once more,”Fuck. Now he thinks we’re fucking.” He grumbled and got the pan out to start the pancakes now that he had the batter ready.

Venom hummed, _We could be_. Which was not at all the answer Bucky was expecting.

It wasn’t like Bucky didn’t have ‘those types’ of dreams since his head had gotten screwed on more or less straight, but more like he hadn’t exactly acted on them since he now had a front-row passenger seat looking at his dick. Hydra had all but crushed his sense of dignity and self-consciousness so he wasn’t cock-shy, but it was still weird alright?

 _That’s stupid. You’re stupid_.

“Real mature,” Bucky rolled his eyes and started cooking.

Once he set their stacks on the table ,Bucky gave in.”How are you even interested in that? You ain’t got a dick...right?” Could blob-monsters have genitalia? 

Snorting, Venom rumbled, _I’m you, you’re me._ Simple as that. 

“Real helpful, didn’t really answer my — “ Bucky’s fork clattered to the table as a pressure hot and intense pressed right against a spot he had only hypothetically known about before. 

“Oh God,” Bucky whimpered, flesh hand snapping to his dick that tried to break some kind of land speed record launching through his shorts.

 _I know your entire body._ Venom said it so casually, as if he wasn’t about to make Bucky ruin the plaid chair cushion underneath them if he kept on. 

What the fuck was Venom doing and why did it feel so fucking good?”J-jesus Christ, V.” Bucky whimpered, wiggling in the chair hard enough for it to creak. 

_See?_ They really had to talk about all this smugness. 

The bathroom door swung open and Venom backed off, leaving Bucky sitting at the table laden with pancakes and a cock pointed to the sky. 

It was probably the most awkward breakfast they’d ever had as Bucky tried, and failed, not to look like he was in physical pain. Steve’s concerned ‘You can talk to me’ eyes were not at all appropriate while Bucky was trying not to think about how sturdy the table was and how much he wanted to be draped over it right now. 

* * *

  
  


Bucky was really starting to dislike Venom being right so much. 

He’d reasoned that Bucky wasn’t going to be much use to Steve if he didn’t get reacquainted with his body, _their_ body, first. Which wasn’t as big of a hardship as Bucky would have thought.

“Oh fuck,” Bucky sighed, rocking his hips in abortive little thrusts as if that might make Venom take mercy on him. They’d been doing this mostly in the shower since Bucky slept in Steve’s room more often than not these days. Right now Bucky was stretched out on his own bed, since Steve was out sketching in the park and tended to get absorbed for hours on end looking at pigeons or kids chucking popcorn at geeze. 

The springs of the mattress creaked as Bucky writhed, hands held against the headboard by one of Venom’s endless tendrils. Venom had been teasing him for the past thirty minutes, rubbing, pinching, and massaging all over until Bucky was ready to scream in frustration. He wanted that feeling again but Venom wasn’t giving in.

 _Impatient_. Venom’s long tongue snaked around his cock,coiling around it until only the cherry red tip poked out from the top. Bucky’s voice went high and needy staring down at it, eyes rolling as a fat bead of precome dribbled from his slit. 

“V, come on, d-don’t be an asshole.” Bucky didn’t have near enough bite to do anything more than make Venom snicker at this point, already so pliant and needy. It was a new feeling, letting himself be tortured in a way that was _good_ for once. No matter what, he knew Venom wasn’t going to hurt him, just the way he knew Steve wasn’t going to either. If they ever got to that...which, it would be alright if Steve didn’t want to, Bucky would understand, but God did he want to share this with Steve.

He never noticed the rain starting to pitter against the window a few feet to his left, or that the front door had opened. Everything was muffled and syrupy, riding along the waves of uncrested pleasure. Never noticed a tendril nudging the door open, leaving it wide, or Venom arranging Bucky in the middle of the bed, pinned down and whimpering. 

The world didn’t snap back into a vague sense of focus until he heard a rough, “Oh fuck,” from the doorway and all of Steve’s art supplies clattering to the floor. 

Bucky’s eyes blossomed open, locking on Steve’s the moment Venom did that _thing_ he did inside them that made Bucky groan and his cock jump in the loose ring of Venom’s tongue. 

Steve stood frozen, staring at them as if he couldn’t decide if he wanted to run or, oh, _that_ was a look. Steve’s cheeks were rapidly flushing, eyes trained where Venom had his tendrils wrapped around Bucky’s thighs, hitching them wide. Dimly, Bucky heard a whimper that wasn’t his for once and realized it was from Steve’s throat instead. 

“St-steve,” Bucky begged, as if he might force Venom to show some mercy. He should be apologizing, or hell, have some shame, but he couldn’t, not when he felt so deliciously good. 

The little goading was all it took for Steve to stumble inside, hesitating at the bedside until Venom slid a tendril against his hip, against the seam where Steve’s blue button up tucked into his khakis. Steve shivered, chewing on his lower lip.”Is this okay?..I ain’t ever. I mean, Jesus, you know.” Steve stammered, red from the tips of his ears to his sternum. 

Bucky always had a sneaking suspicion that Steve had never allowed himself to be with anyone when they were younger but,”N-never?”

Steve went even darker, shyly glancing at the floor even as he was coaxed onto the bed.”Not with anyone with a penis, no.”

For a moment all Bucky could do was stare as that particular set of images flashed through his head,”Fuck, Stevie.” He groaned, biting his lower lip.

“The USO girls were uh, really nice.” Steve went on, as if Bucky’s brain hadn’t already been liquidated by Venom’s teasing. 

“God, come’ere,” Bucky wiggled a hand free of Venom's loosening grip and grabbed at the back of Steve’s head until their faces smashed together in a kiss more bruising and desperate than any they’d shared so far. 

All the while Venom made short work of Steve’s clothing, baring miles of naked skin, all save for the binding around Steve’s chest he only wore on ‘not good’ days. Bucky hated those days for Steve, since to him Steve had always looked like a million bucks, even before the serum had given him damn near everything he wanted. 

Steve suddenly moaned against his lips and Bucky broke the kiss, peering down the length of Steve’s crouched body to see Venom’s tendrils wrapping around Steve, one snaking between his legs. 

Bucky almost frantically blared ‘not too far’ into their mind, only for Venom to mentally roll his eyes. _I know_ . _Remember_? Venom pointed out for what had to be the thousandth time that the alien knew everything Bucky did, including all his insight on Steve.

The tendrils pulsed and they shared a twin moan, “St-stevie baby, I want..I want you, don’t care how it happens. Just want — fuck I wanted it for so long.” Bucky babbled, eyes fixed on Steve’s hips that squirmed and pulsed against whatever Venom was doing down below. And fuck if Bucky didn’t wish he had a view on that one.

Shivering, Steve reached out to kiss Bucky once more,”Y-yeah, me too, I just...don’t know what to do? I don’t want..you know.” His face pinched, a look of shame coming over his face that Bucky didn’t like at all. 

“Hey, I ain’t gunna do anything you don’t want.” Bucky couldn’t suppress a warm smile at Venom’s basal rumbled agreement. For all of Venom’s general awfulness he could be real swell when it came down to brass tacks.

Venom’s grip shifted and Steve was knocked forward until he situated himself between Bucky’s spread legs, staring down at him like he’d seen God. Bucky knew he didn’t look anything like the kid that had gone off the war, scared shitless and praying he came back home in one piece (ha). He was bigger, meaner, scarred, leaving chunks of himself behind and not only the literal. But Steve’s head looked two seconds from exploding. Talk about a confidence boost. 

“Touch me, baby.” He urged, arching up with a needy groan. He could see the petite swell of Steve’s cock nestled among his dark blond pubic hair, something Bucky fully planned to get his mouth on when he had more than two brain cells to rub together. He wondered if any of the USO girls had ever done that for Steve. Oh,he really hoped so, if only so he could fantasize about lipstick stains. 

Steve’s head nodded sharply, shaking hands coming to rest on Bucky’s thighs.”Buck, you should see the way you look right now.” His hands kept skimming, shying away from Bucky’s aching dick that had left a puddle of precome the size of lake Superior on his stomach. 

When Steve’s fingers brushed over his nipples, Venom touched against his asshole, and Bucky yelped as if he’d been stuck with a cattle-prod. From the look on Steve’s face, wide-eyed and slack jawed, Venom must have mirrored the experience. 

Steve keened low and tipped forward, smushing their faces together with an open-mouthed kiss that was more air than saliva. ”Not..gunna lie. Didn’t know how this was gunna work with you, V — enom!” Steve gasped, rocking his hips back into the teasing touch.”But I’m real glad it is now.”

Venom snickered, no doubt the praise inflating his already massive ego. ” _Humans are interesting...messy.”_ The tendril between Bucky’s cheeks disappeared, immediately replaced with something warm, slick, and insistent. Venom’s mile-long tongue.

Bucky’s eyes rolled up, humping up into the air until his cock bumped against Steve’s groin. The brief contact pulled a cuss from Steve’s lips and he sat back to watch Venom slowly lap against Bucky’s asshole like a goddamn cat to cream. 

“Look so good, we could’a been doin’ this since we were teenagers.” Steve grumbled, apparently ready to fight his younger self for being oblivious. Even as he mentally cussed his younger self Steve’s hand drifted down to _finally_ wrap around Bucky’s cock, and Bucky nearly died right then and there. 

“I — fuck, I can’t. Gunna come.” Bucky whined, torn between grinding against Venom’s tongue and fucking up into Steve’s fist.

Steve’s eyes trained on him, grip tightening and speeding up with new purpose. He whispered the same time Venom growled, ”Then come.” And he did, shooting off like a goddamn rocket all over his chest and Steve’s fingers.

Steve’s hand stilled, fingers twitching unconsciously, eyes blown right to Mars.”Wish I could...could make love to you,” His eyes slid down where Venom was probing shallowly at Bucky’s furl, solid white eyes meeting sky-blue. 

“ _That’s easy_.” Venom purred, sending vibrations against Bucky’s pucker that had Bucky’s barely-waned erection twitching all over again.

Before either one of them could ask what the hell that meant, Venom bled around Steve’s lower half and Steve went ramrod straight, eyes blossoming comically wide. “Jesus fucking Christ,” Steve gave a strangled gasp, saying a string of three words Bucky would have never thought a Catholic boy could utter. 

Steve’s eyes fluttered, suddenly melting over Bucky’s body. Bucky could feel it more than see it, Venom shifting around Steve’s groin, then something growing against Bucky’s hip. It felt remarkably like a — 

“Holy shit,” Bucky shivered. Steve rolled against him, moaning low and sweet as whatever Venom was doing down there was working for him, and then some. 

“‘S good, fuck, _Bucky_.” Steve practically whined, heaving himself back up onto his knees as if it was the most difficult thing he’d ever done. And fuck, the visual when he got up there was something. Standing proud and hard was an inky black dick bobbing between Steve’s legs. Venom’s body had twined up with Steve’s to where Bucky couldn’t see exactly how it was giving Steve pleasure, only that Steve was very obviously into it. 

“ _Now you can_ ,” Venom snickered, tongue returning to Bucky’s hole. He didn’t even give Bucky any warning before his tongue was snaking into him well and truly for the first time. 

Bucky howled, legs snapping wider at the foriegn intrusion that was as strange as it was the best thing on earth. He doubted it would have felt this good without Venom, all things considered, but that was the pits for other guys, now wasn’t it?

“Oh, Buck.” Steve sighed, one hand fisting the length of his pseudo-cock while the other gripped Bucky’s thigh, keeping his leg pushed almost to his chest. Steve’s eyes were trained on where Venom was opening him up, near drunk from desire. 

“Give it to me, Stevie. Come on, I can take it. V — V won’t let me hurt.” Bucky needed Steve _now_. 

“ _Do it_ ,” Venom echoed, pulling his tongue from Bucky with a visible slime trail. Any other time that might have made them recoil, but Steve only looked that much more drawn in. Interesting. 

Venom’s touch slid up, taking over keeping Bucky spread obscenely wide in a webbing of black strands. The ichor cupped under his chest, pushing against the muscular swells. Every few seconds the strands passed over his nipples, pulling at them until they were reddened peaks.

Steve settled between his legs, fingers sliding momentarily against his hole before dipping inside with two thick fingers. Bucky heaved a wavering sigh, giving himself over to the dual sensation of Venom and Steve touching him. 

Blearily he watched as Steve fisted Venom’s slime against his cock, whimpering at the open pleasure on Steve’s face. He wanted this to be good for Steve even more than he wanted it for himself. Steve had never trusted anyone to see him growing up. It had taken Bucky years to even realize what was going on, and even then it was only when they’d moved into together, which had been a scandal all on its own.

“Yeah...fuck yes baby, give me your cock.” Bucky urged, fruitlessly wiggling against Venom’s steady grip. 

The blunt tip of the heavy cock nudged against his rim, and just as expected, even as Steve pushed in, Bucky only felt the stretched pressure of the invasion with only the barest burn. Venom had him, had _them_. 

“V...Steve, ‘s good, please, fuck, keep going.” Bucky all but sobbed, trying to pull Steve in with just the power of his ass alone. “Fuck me.” And for once, Steve listened. With one snap of his hips he sank flush, and they shared a shout.

Steve’s grip on his thighs was punishing as he ground in tight circles, eyes closed and brows furrowed. His lips parted with sharp pants, and Bucky watched, enraptured as Steve struggled for control. “Do it, baby, more.” Bucky whispered, already hoarse from a morning of Venom’s teasing.

“C-can’t, I’ll come.” Steve’s eyes cracked open, shivering from head to toe.

Venom had an answer ready before Bucky, and the pitch around Steve’s groin rippled, pulling another loud cry from Steve’s lungs. A switch had been flipped, and Steve started fucking into Bucky it would have had him traveling up the bed if not for Venom’s grip.

Abruptly, Steve stilled, huffing a sound Bucky had heard from him the last time he’d been punched in the stomach. The cock nestled within him jerked in time with Steve’s hitched breaths, and Bucky realized he was watching Steve come hard enough to suck the life out of him. 

It might sound sappy, saying that they had ended up here because they were supposed to be together. Best friends, super soldiers, time, blah blah, but Bucky was just damn glad for it all right now for one shallow reason, little to no refractory time. Not that Venom couldn’t have taken care of that either. 

They ended up breaking both the beds that week before giving in and just putting the mattress on the floor. They moved to a more secluded townhouse a month after that, since new decade or not they didn’t really need the neighbors snooping around. 

They had to up Venom’s allotment of chocolate after it all, and the asshole puffed up like a peacock for months, but if he had to deal with a know-it-all alien to have the kind of life he’d only imagined in fever dreams he’d gladly take it. 

Venom grumbled at the sentiment, _Ugh,Humans._

**Author's Note:**

> If you like my stuff consider following me on twitter  
> [ **Here** ](https://twitter.com/neonbat666?s=09) and dropping me a ko-fi :)


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